THE HAND OF FATE
Intolerant skepticism and intolerant belief are only the
two extremes of the same thing. There is a fanaticism
in unbelief not less absolute than the fanaticism which
established the Inquisition or lighted the fires of
Smithfield, La. Harpe, the celebrated materialist, is
said to have fought a duel with a friend who had asserted
the existence of his own conscience. Such a skeptical
fanatic was I at the date of the events I am about to
relate. I was president of a society for the
prevention of superstition. I believe in nothing
beyond the ken of my five senses. I was a furious
enemy of dreams, omens, presentiments, ghost and spirits.
I was not likely, therefore, to have been misled by
superstitious credulity or perverse imagination in regard to
the circumstances. I was living in bachelor lodgings in a
quiet street in the upper part of the city. I went
little into society and had few friends. I spent most
of my evenings, consequently, in the seclusion of my room,
with no company but my books. One autumn evening I reached
home at a late hour but feeling no desire to sleep, I
lighted my lamp and sat down by the table for the purpose of
finishing a volume which I had been reading. It was a
dissertation on a favorite subject of mine, namely; The
physical causes of dreams and apparitions the author tracing
all spectral appearance to illusion brought about by
disordered nervous functions. I was deeply interested,
and read on steadily until after midnight. |
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Suddenly and without warning my light flickered and went out.
For a moment the room was in intense darkness. I had drawn the
curtain before the windows, and the fire in the grate had died down
long before. Just as I was on the point of impatiently rising
to relight my lamp, I was nailed to my chair by a strange
phenomenon. Against the opposite wall of my room a faint glow
of light began to appear. In shape it was like the circular
patch which is thrown by a camera upon a screen. It continued
to increase in brilliancy until the whole room was in a glare of
light equal to moonday. It was as if a circular window had
been cut in the wall admitting the full power of the sun. For an
instant surprise held me dumb and motionless; then I arose, and
going to the wall placed my hand upon the patch of light. I
observed that my hand cast no shadow, and that, therefore, the light
could not come from behind me. Puzzled, but by no means
alarmed, I went back to my chair, calmly resolved to watch the
matter to its conclusion. For a moment the light remained clear
and steady; then a slight mist seemed to over-spread it. Out
of this mist, by slow degrees, a picture was evolved. There
was a wide, deep river, crossed by a railroad bridge, in the
foreground, I could see here and there a vessel drifting idly with
the tide, for it appeared to be a still, warm day. In the
distance the hills looked blue and hazy. There were white
clouds in the sky, and at a distance the smoke from a town on the
river bank rose lazily into the air. I could note and memorize
every detail--the color of the wooden trestle of the railroad
bridge; the shape and number of the signal boards; the peculiar
arrangement of the telegraph wires. In fact, I could have
sworn that I sat before an open window looking upon material
landscape of real sky, earth and water. I noted, too,
particularly, a weak spot near the centre of the bridge. The
bed of the road seemed to have warped and several sleepers were
decayed and loosened. I even said unconsciously;
"There will be a terrible accident at that point some day."
While I was gaping at the apparition with sensations impossible
to describe, I observed the smoke of an approaching train. It
rushed swiftly around a curve and upon the bridge with unabated
speed. I was conscious of a feeling of intense interest in it.
I felt very much like a person witnessing a dream with high-wrought
emotions, breathlessly watching the action, which is drawing toward
the tragic denouement. On came the train. I counted the
cars; there were sixteen---four of a yellowish color and the
remainder of a deep red. I saw upon their sides the words
"Northern New York and Canada R.R." I saw that the engine's
number was 12, and that the engineer, leaning out of the window
toward me, had a large red face and heavy black beard. As the
train came upon the bridge there seemed to be a sudden jar and
stoppage. The engine leaped into the air like a frightened
horse and rolled off the bridge, followed by six of the cars.
There was an intense movement of alarm and horror, a shower of fire
and a cloud of steam which, for a moment, hid everything from sight.
A moment afterward my attention was irresistibly drawn to two
figures struggling in the water. One was a girl, very young
and beautiful, attired in a gray travelling suit. She had lost
her bonnet, and her long, fair hair was floating upon the water.
The other figure was that of a man, whose appearance gave me a shock
of strange surprise. I seemed to recognize him, though his
face was turned away. At first he seemed to be making
preparations to strike out vigorously toward the shore. Then
he seemed to catch sight of the young girl, for he turned, and
swimming toward her, supported her on one arm, while with the other
he kept both of them afloat. At this moment I caught sight of his
face. I started up and uttered a shout of absolute terror.
It was my own face, white and stern with excitement and resolution
that I saw before me. As if my voice had broken the spell, the
light, landscape, wrecked train and struggling swimmers disappeared
like a flash of lightning. I rubbed my eyes and looked around.
The light was burning as brightly as before. The book I had
been reading had slipped from my hand to the floor. I
perceived then that I had been merely dreaming a vivid dream. To
say that I was not startled would be untrue. I was very much
moved, but it was neither with superstitious fear nor the slightest
faith. Here, I thought, was a grand opportunity to put my
favorite theories into practice. I had dreamed a dream of such
distinctness and detail that it might readily be supposed to be a
forewarning. That it would prove to be nothing of the sort I
was perfectly convinced. I would write down the circumstances,
and when the event had proven them wholly false, use the whole as a
knock-down argument against all faith in any forewarnings
whatsoever. On further investigation I confessed that I was
somewhat perplexed. I found that there was such a railroad as
the Northern New York and Canada, that the cars were of the color
seen in my dream. I found furthermore, on conversing with a
person who had travelled over the route, that the road crossed Black
river on a trestle bridge, and that, viewed up the river, the
landscape would appear as I had seen it. I was by no means
convinced, however. I might have heard of the railroad in
question and forgotten the fact. The color of the cars was
such as is common to railroads. The landscape may have borne
only a general resemblance to the Black river; moreover, my
description of the one seen in my dream could at most have given a
few salient points, such as hills, water, a distant town and a
trestle bridge, common to a hundred other regions in the country.
Moreover, I could imagine no reason why I should travel over the
route. My parents live in Northern New York, but in visiting
them my course would be at least a hundred miles east of the Black
river. The winter passed by with no renewal of my strange dream,
and the occurrence of no circumstances bearing upon it and the whole
matter had passed out of my memory. One morning I received a
telegram from home to the effect that my father had been taken
dangerously ill, and that his physician despaired of his life.
Skeptic as I was, I was no infidel in the matter of my family
affection. I made my preparations in haste, and took the night
train for my father's home. On arriving at Utica. I
learned that a freshet had washed out the track of the regular line,
and that I should be compelled to take a branch road a core of miles
further west. My dream now occurred to me. I was travelling
near the region I had dreamed of. Once accident had forced me
nearer to it than I had any reason to anticipate. But I was
not foolish enough to suppose that any set of circumstances would
bring about the fulfillment of my vision. During the night the
train halted at a large town on the line and the passengers were
informed that another transfer would be necessary. The rains
which had destroyed the track of the regular line had also thrown
down a bridge on the branch. As I slighted in the dark and made my
way to the train in waiting I admit that I was very much startled to
read upon the side of the cars the words I had seen in my dream,
"Northern New York and Canada R. R." I counted the cars, they
were sixteen in number---four yellow and twelve red. My philosophy
was considerably shaken. IT seemed as if an irresistible hand
were forcing me to the fulfilment of my dream. But I was still
stubborn in unbelief. I resolved to investigate the matter still
further and satisfy myself that I had simply met with a series of
coincidences. Freshets might occur on railroads without the
special intervention of destiny. Cars might be of a certain
color and number without proving dreams to be true. At the
earliest peep of dawn I went through every car on the train
earnestly scanning the passengers' faces. I was looking for
the young girl in the gray travelling suit. I was highly
elated to discover that no such person was on board. Here was
one point in my favor. But very shortly this one point was opposed
by two others of a very startling kind. During a halt in the
forenoon I alighted and went forward to the engine. There upon
the brass plate on its side was the number 12. And as the
engineer looked from the window I was stunned to recognize the man
in the dream, the red face and the black beard. I went back to my
seat in a maze of wonder and dread. My incredulity was oozing
out at my fingers' ends. Just as the train was about to start a
carriage drove furiously up to the station and a late passenger was
assisted aboard one of the forward cars as the wheels began to move.
It was a woman, whose face I could not see, for she wore a veil, but
her dress was of a light gray color and her figure that of a young
girl. By this time I was thoroughly unnerved. I dared not go
forward and endeavor to catch a glimpse of the girl's face. I
feared to see the face of dream. I threw myself back into the
corner of my seat and fell into a moody reverie. But,
meantime, I gathered from the conversation of two passengers in the
seat before me that we were to cross the Black river before
noon on a trestle bridge. Presently the landscape on either side
began to look strangely familiar. I caught glimpses of hills
in the distance that seemed not new to me. A moment later, as
the train passed through a cutting and came in sight of the river, I
started up in terror. I beheld the landscape of my dream.
The wide, deep current, the hazy hills, the trestle bridge, the pale
blue sky with its motionless clouds, the drooping sails of the
vessels and the distant town with its dun vapor rising into the
air--I had seen them all before. I was prepared for the full
realization of my dream. The last thread of unbelief had
broken. I sprang out upon the platform as the train ran upon
the trestle and waited breathlessly for the crash I knew was coming.
The train ran on smoothly until it reached the centre of the bridge,
then there was a hideous jar, an explosion, a chaos of shouts,
shrieks and crashes, and I found myself in the water swimming for
life. In an instant I remembered the conclusion of my dream. I
turned about, and there, within a dozen feet of me floated the
figure in gray, with her long hair spread out upon the water and her
beautiful eyes turned toward me in terrified appeal. My dream
had not told me whether I was to escape or die in the attempt to
rescue the girl. But I never thought of that. I swam
toward her, and passing my arm about her, struck out toward the
shore. It was a long and desperate struggle. The river was
wide and the current swift. I could make little progress with
my inert burden. I struggled on, growing weaker and weaker
with every stroke. Presently I saw a boat pulling toward us.
I uttered a shout and was answered. In another moment my
companion was drawn into the vessel, and, utterly overcome by my
terrible efforts, I sank back into the water insensible. When I
awoke to consciousness I was lying in bed and some one was bending
over me. It was a woman and she was weeping; I could feel her
tears falling upoin my forehead as she brushed back my damp hair.
Presently the mist cleared away from my sight, and I recognized the
young girl whom I had seen in my dream. She uttered a cry of joy
when she saw that my eyes were open. She seized my hand and
pressed it convulsively.
"Thank heaven!" she said, "you will live." "Yes," I said,
with a feeble smile, "since it is of importance to you." "I
should never be happy again," she sobbed, "if you were to died
after what you have done for me."
Being still very ill, yet anxious to reach my father, I resolved
to get on at once. Finding me determined to proceed, my young
friend insisted upon accompanying me the short distance I had to go.
It is needless to relate the details of the remainder of my journey;
how, when I arrived, I found my father in a fair way to recovery, or
how, in the natural course of events, I fell in love with my
beautiful nurse. When I returned to the city with my young wife,
my friends discovered that I had left my old skepticism in the
depths of the Black river. I dissolved my connection with the
"Anti-Superstition society," not without considerable jeering, which
I could afford to give. I am now convinced that there are
things in this world that our raw logic will not account for.
My clearest proof is the dear wife whose life I was led to save for
myself by the irresistible hand of fate. Syracuse Herald, Syracuse, New York -
Sunday, October 8
1882
AS we rush, as we
rush in the Train,
The trees and the houses go wheeling back,
But the starry heavens above the plain
Come flying on our track.
All the beautiful stars of the sky,
The silver doves of the forest of Night,
Over the dull earth swarm and fly,
Companions of our flight.
We will rush ever on without fear;
Let the goal be far, the flight be fleet!
For we carry the Heavens with us, dear,
While the Earth slips from our feet!
James Thomson, In the Train
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